Grieving As a Fangirl: From Death to Disbandment

Grief is a complex state of being, one that takes a person through an array of emotions from anger to sadness to acceptance and everything in between. Grieving can feel incredibly personal, and as a fangirl, the outside world judges you when you’re celebrating, so when you’re grieving it’s a whole other ballpark. So what does grieving look like as a fangirl, especially when you’re dealing with everything from death to disbandment? 

In this week’s episode, we’re heading back to university to get a crash course in the psychology behind grief, and how grieving doesn’t just belong to those who have a kinship to those who are lost. When music is what most of us rely on when we’re in times of mourning and dispair, it can be so much harder to deal with grieving as a fangirl when those in your inner circle don’t understand your loss. From the death of artists like Elvis, Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, and more to hiatuses that turn to disbandment, breakups that lead to comebacks, and bands who ghost their fans forever, we’re looking into it all this week!

Enjoy this episode? Join our Patreon community or leave us a tip on PayPal! 

Want to talk more? Find us: @name3songs | @sara_feigin | @jenna_million

Past episodes of Name 3 Songs we think you’d also enjoy: The Power Of Male Fans & The Subjugation Of Fangirls (with Lucy Ford) & Fanfiction But Make it Gay: From the Emo Scene to Larry Stylinson (with Dr Judith Fathallah)

Sources for Grieving As a Fangirl: From Death to Disbandment

How to Help a Teenager Handle the Death of an Idol (New York Times, Kelly Glass, 2019)

9 Reasons It Is Not Crazy To Grieve A Celebrity Death (whatsyourgrief.com, Lista Williams, 2016)

Coping with Grief and Loss (helpguide.org, Melinda Smith M.A., Lawrence Robinson and Jeanne Segal Ph.D., 2021)

It may feel strange to mourn a celebrity you never met. Here’s why it’s healthy. (Washington Post, Angela Haupt, 2020)

Nirvana Fans Despair at Singer’s Death : Reaction (LA Times, Carla Hall & Aileen Cho, April 1994)

Teen Can’t Comprehend Kurt Cobain’s Suicide (LA Times, Elizabeth A. Jurado, April 1994)

The Nation : Personal Perspective : Cobain: Generation’s Failed Effort to Redefine Success (LA Times, Jay Fielden, April 1994)

Inside The Text Of Kurt Cobain’s Heartwrenching Suicide Note (All That’s Interesting, Marco Margaritoff, 2020)

Screaming, Fainting, Unplugged Jukeboxes: How Memphis and Media Reacted to Elvis’ Death (Variety, Chris Morris, 2017)

Remembering Elvis: How The World Reacted To The Death Of ‘The King’ (Country Rebel, Miranda Raye, 2016)

Fan Reactions To David Bowie’s Death Show How Irreplaceable He Is (Romper, Margaret Wheeler Johnson, 2016)

‘We thought he’d go on for ever’: Bowie fans gather worldwide to pay tribute (The Guardian, 2016)

Grieving David Bowie, a True Rock Star in Life and in Death (Vulture, Lindsay Zoladz, Jan 2016)

Tom Parker: Fans say emotional farewell at The Wanted singer’s funeral (BBC News, Steven McIntosh, 2022)

The Wanted’s Tom Parker dies aged 33 as devastated fans pay tribute (Chronicle Live, Simon Duke, 2022)

What SHINee Taught Me About Grief, Friendship, and Joy (Teen Vogue, VICTORIA HUYNH, February 2021)

How death brought David Bowie a career breakthrough (Washington Post, Jessica Contrera, January 2016)

AMY WINEHOUSE’S DEATH ‘EXTREMELY SAD,’ FANS SAY (MTV News, Rya Becker, 2011)

Amy Winehouse: 10 years after her death, fans remember what they loved her for most (Stylist, Anya Ryan, 2021)

Fans react to death of Amy Winehouse (BBC News, 2011)

Fans honor Amy Winehouse in London decade after death (Inquirer, 2021)

Amy Winehouse’s family identifies body, meets with fans; funeral scheduled for Tuesday (New York Post, 2011)

Zayn Malik’s Leaving One Direction to Fans’ Crushing Disappointment (ABC News, Michael Rothman, 2015)

Zayn Malik on leaving One Direction: I’ve ‘let the fans down’ (Page Six, 2015)

The REAL Reason Zayn Malik Left One Direction… In His Own Words! (Capital FM, 2015)

Zayn Malik Leaves One Direction: Why It Hurts So Much (Forbes, Melinda Newman, 2015)

One Direction fans react to hiatus reports (NME,  Luke Morgan Britton, 2015)

One Direction’s Hiatus Sounds More Like A Breakup (Bustle, Shannon Carlin, 2016)

‘Does the drama ever end?’ One Direction fans left inconsolable as band ‘plan an extended hiatus’ just months after Zayn Malik’s shock departure (DailyMail, Joanna Crawley, 2015)

One Direction thank their fans after playing their final show before hiatus (Digital Spy, Harry Fletcher, 2015)

ARMY Confused Over BTS ‘Hiatus’ News: ‘Fastest Hiatus in History’ (Billboard, Glenn Rowley, 2022)

BTS Fans React to Group’s Hiatus Announcement: ‘We’ll Wait for You … ARMY Forever’ (Billboard, Starr Bowenbank, 2022)

Viewpoint: Fangirls will be fangirls (Baylor Lariat, Rae Jefferson, March 2015)

The resurrection of Fall Out Boy: “We had no idea whether people would still care about us” (Kerrang, David McLaughlin, 2019)

It’s Time to Accept the Hard Truths of One Direction (Yahoo! Life, Hedy Phillips, June 2022)

IN LOVING MEMORY OF ONE DIRECTION (Obscur Magazine, July 2020)

THE IMPACT OF ONE DIRECTION, TEN YEARS LATER (Tmrw Mag, KELSEY BARNES AND NAUREEN NASHID, July 2020)