How Gay Men Stan Divas to Reject the Patriarchy

It’s no secret that gay men love a good diva in pop music. But how are gay men who stan divas using their fandom to reject the patriarchy, especially when so many female pop stars stick to patriarchal standards of hyper femininity? 

Well, there’s a lot of psychology around this theme as well as a deep history that dates back to Judy Garland. This week we’re looking into the relationship between cis, majority white, gay men and their favorite pop divas, and how what started as a beautiful symbiotic relationship, turns into these gay men falling into pre-programmed misogyny and turning symbiosis into parasitism.

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Want more of Name 3 Songs? Check out these similar episodes: Fanfiction But Make it Gay: From the Emo Scene to Larry Stylinson & Challenging Masculinity: A History of Gender Expression in Music

Sources for How Gay Men Stan Divas to Reject the Patriarchy:

‘They just wanted to silence her’: the dark side of gay stan culture (The Guardian, Bryan O’Flynn, 2018)

Why Do Gay Men Idolize Female Pop Stars? (IN Magazine, Bobby Box, 2019)

Diva Worship and Gay Men (HuffPost, Joe Kort Ph.D., 2012)

Why Is Judy Garland the Ultimate Gay Icon? (BBC, Louis Staples, 2019)

Allyship or queerbaiting? How thirsty pop stars are courting LGBTQ audience (LA Times, Nico Lang, 2019)


10 years of Lady Gaga: how she queered mainstream pop forever (The Guardian, Bryan O’Flynn, 2018)

5 Reasons Why Charli XCX is an Example for Queer Allies Everywhere (Billboard, Stephen Daw, 2019)

Charli XCX Says LGBTQ+ Fans Helped Her Find Herself in New Documentary (Pride, Taylor Henderson, February 2022)

Marina and the Diamonds Singer: Some Female Pop Stars’ Love for Gay Fans Feels Forced (Huffpost, Pollo Del Mar, 2017)

The Gay Men Who Hate Women (Vice, Shon Faye, 2015)

“Not your best Judy”: The gay man’s misogyny (, Fionn McFadden, March 2022)

Cher has had a powerful affinity with gay men since she was nine-years-old. Here’s why (Pink News, Matilda Davies, 2020)

Q&A: Cher on Knowing When She Was a Gay Icon, ‘Hope’ Gleaned from LGBT Community & ‘Breadcrumbs’ of Her Legacy (Pride Source, Chris Azzopardi, 2018)

How Madonna Became the Ultimate LGBTQ Icon: A Timeline (Parade, Samuel Murrian, 2021)

Do Not Erase Black Femmes In Your History of Gay Slang (Paper Mag, Mikelle Street, 2018)

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